After Petty in Pink
by kiran9437
Summary: <html><head></head>This is after Petty in Pink, Dan is thinking about his feelings</html>
1. Chapter 1

Dan sat in his comfy armchair alone, a sweating beer on his lap and conflicting thoughts running through his mind. He thought bitterly about how he used to envy Nate, the clean-cut, handsome, popular, relaxed, athletic high school boy that could get any girl he wanted with a crook of his finger, and often entertained more than one at a time. That was the one thing that was always constant. No matter how great Dan's life was going – when he was dating Serena was a particular high point in his otherwise mundane life – Nate's life was better, more dramatic. Dan was inferior to the effortlessly charming Nate Archibald, who could do no wrong, he was with Raina now and still retained his friendship with Chuck. Dan chuckled when he thought of the distress he went through trying to keep Vanessa's heart intact while dating Serena, what was the point? Why couldn't he just do what he wanted and ignore the consequences?

He reclined contemplating, he was veering on a self-pity party. Charlie had left; Blair judging from the blast that had just popped up on Gossip Girl was going full steam ahead with her now public relationship with her Prince. It was unfair how a girl could still be so beautiful regardless of all the other unattractive attributes they possessed. Her skin looked unfairly soft and feminine even under the incessant bright flashes from the paparazzi, a silly grin on her pink painted lips. She truly resembled a princess with brunette tendrils blowing in the wind, the skirts of her pale dress swirling enchantingly. Luis was obviously the man for her, not conniving like Chuck or mediocre like Dan. He sighed, flicking through the myriads of channels his new broadband had to offer, sometimes he felt the choice was mindboggling and longed for simpler times, but then he realised that he would like the option of watching a re-run of Chuck as he was doing right now.

Charlie was pretty, in a non-Upper-East-Side-way, yet still elegant and genuinely nice. She seemed so cautious and conscious, he really hoped this new life worked out for her, although it didn't work out for Jenny. If he didn't know better he would have thought that she liked him, her eyes went really wide and she giggled lightly at almost everything he said. Dan knew he wasn't that funny. He regretted the way Serena had discovered his secret friendship and that Blair hadn't enjoyed their kiss at all.

He didn't much remember it, but was egotistical enough to want to be a good kisser. He remembered the clean, fragrant scent she wore and the taste of a vanilla sealant on her perpetually pouting lips. That was all, it was very brief and sudden, a lot of the memory had been distorted by shock; he had kissed Blair Waldorf.

Earlier tonight, however, their elaborate act had left a more lasting impression, her cheeks were really soft like she used a rare cream imported from Poland because of the illegal ingredients. Plus. She had kissed him back, single-mindedly, true out of deference to Luis and a desire to maintain their relationship's secrecy, but it was hard not to be affected when she eagerly met his lips. Dan saw it as his chance, which he'd blown. Nate wouldn't have blown it. Chuck probably would have but he'd make up for it with expensive presents and stalking.

His cell phone rang vociferously, vibrating on the table. "Yes," he snapped it open, trying to make his tone as polite and affable as possible, but if it was Vanessa he would tell her what he thought, colourfully.

"Hello, Humphrey," a very familiar droll voice greeted, sounding almost bored.

"I thought you'd be enjoying your happily ever after," he stood, pacing without realising, slightly ashamed of his defeatist attitude, he was not the loser Blair proclaimed him to be just because he had a few less millions in his savings account.

"I am," her voice was calm and decisive, "I just wanted to say thank you . . .," she ignored the disbelieving pause because she felt it was a n insult to her character, "I appreciate what you did and so does Luis, you're a good friend . . .," another awkward pause filled only by her sigh, "Seriously, Dan I owe you one, okay? Stop acting like I've just told you that I'm actually a leprechaun under all this good breeding."

"Er, okay, it's appreciated," he made a funny face, "And you're welcome."

"Right," the lapse in their interaction was this time due to a loss of something to say.

"Well, er how is Serena?" he inexpertly reopened the conversation.

"She's . . . Serena."

"What now? I swear you guys cannot go one day without fighting over something, it's always a competition with you two, I actually find it amazing your still friends, especially when she's such a nice person," Dan joked, venturing into the kitchen and fixing himself a coffee, he might watch a horror flick, he always found Carrie pretty freaky.

"Oh, I should have known you'd take her side, you want to watch that pedestal Humphrey, the higher your unattainable it-girl is the harder she has to fall. Is it really so hard to believe that she's not as perfect as you think she is? You're taking bias to an astronomic level." Blair grumbled, rhetorically, for she knew how she came off next to Serena, being an it girl took more than just golden looks, it took style, poise and attitude. Serena was an it girl because she believed she was an it girl and despite the fathomless love she held for her best friend, Blair was tired of her believing she was better. This was her time, things were working according to plan.

"You know, that's not possible, she must be a saint to remain friends with you," he retorted, stirring his coffee noisily, "Is she mad then, upset, indifferent?" he prompted.

"You still care?"

"I've known her for a really long time now, we're not getting back together, and that's totally done now. Been there, done that, still going to therapy to rebuild by low self esteem, but we still see a lot of each other. I don't want things to be awkward," he explained haltingly. He suddenly realised that Serena was single and for once he did not care. Scary.

"Well that ship has definitely sailed, I got the feeling that she doesn't like the idea of us becoming friends, I mean, it does go against the laws of nature. Maybe she has a point," she said teasingly, well partially teasing, maybe.

"Right," he nodded to himself, "And when people ask you can just tell them that it was your good deed, after all being from Brooklyn that automatically makes me a charity case."

"Maybe charity case is a little far, but your wardrobe is pitiful, I dread to think what you would have worn to the Pink Party if I had not chosen your outfit, which you owe me for, Thomas Pink does not come cheap."

"I'll return it, and do you not realise that I have been dressing myself since I was three years old."

"More's the pity," Blair smiled, "I have to go, Luis wants to order some food, he's surprisingly down to earth for royalty, at least more than I am."

Dan chuckled, "Ah, that's a wrong of the world that will soon be righted, nobody deserves the title of royalty like you do, after all you always walk everywhere like you own the place. Like Constance, oh those days really do bring a tear to my eye."

"I'm going to ignore your petty insults, because unlike you I have plans that don't involve my part-reject part-criminal family and I'm craving ice cream. So I'll see you," she hung up.

The smile stayed tugging at the edge of his lips long after their conversation ended, he closed his brown eyes contentedly, it was really late now. He didn't know what Serena was doing or what Charlie was doing but he knew Blair was most probably celebrating. The weirdest thing of all was that he had no idea what Vanessa was doing, sleeping would be the logical conclusion, but what he found really concerning was that he was glad. Dan Humphrey had really changed


	2. Chapter 2

Dan was overwhelmed; it was shocking how wrong you could be about someone, someone you thought you knew inside out. Friends since the third grade, he remembered her crazy black curls and enormous, genuine smile, never in several million years would he have thought her capable. The memory of Serena's abrupt turn into evil queen bee after their first break up during senior year was suddenly thrust into his conscious. Were all girls like that, irrationally territorial and crazy jealous? In a way he had expected it of someone like Serena, this was her world, the world she had been socialised into, backstabbing and bitching were second nature to her, he had been touched that she had wanted to be a better person, to rise above all the petty priorities that filled Blair's Palm Pilot. Vanessa did not have an excuse, this world was even more alien to her than it was to Dan, and he had long been integrated into their ways. She had always ridiculed the elitism and affluence of their culture, not to mention the extravagance and portentousness. She didn't think it was necessary to go to school in a limo daily for a distance of two minutes.

Charlie was new to this society too, still learning its nuances; he had no idea why Vanessa would be driven to sabotage her. She was sweet, honestly making an effort, just like Amanda she didn't deserve to be ridiculed. There were no chances left for Vanessa, he could no longer justify her actions, she knew he wanted nothing to do with her at all, so why did she insist on involving herself in his life? Charlie was nothing to do with her. She had been so adorably embarrassed and mortified when she had realised her blunder, Dan hated coq au vin but with her it tasted almost edible.

There had been a point when she had tentatively wiped hollandaise sauce of his chin that he had been certain she was going to kiss him. His previous words had evidently prevented her from doing so, and he could no longer objectively decide whether that was good or bad. She was very trusting, a quality he seemed to have lost long ago. It made him sad to think of how living here would change her as a person, just look at Vanessa. It was unusual how his thoughts had shifted from Blair to Charlie so rapidly, maybe out of sight out of mind is right.

The loft was devoid of people, the smell of posh, pretentious food clung to the dull walls and the elaborate table display was in a state of disarray, since he and Charlie had happily sampled each dish, coating the silver cutlery with a variety of delicacies. He sat on a hard chair, tapping the tines of a fork against a wide, crystal clear goblet, the tinkling sound soothing him. It had been a long time since he had curled up in bed reading, his mind solely focused on the prose printed before him, while now his thoughts were consistently preoccupied with the people in his life. He had not yet spoken to Serena since the revelation of his and Blair's kiss so he was uncertain as to whether they were fine or not. Shockingly, he realised it had been even longer since he had written something, with all the drama unexpectedly taking up his life largely in the form of Blair Waldorf.

He unearthed his laptop from under a sheath of papers on his dusty bookshelf; pouring himself some of the wine leftover he considered his plot. Normally it would be influenced by the goings on in his life, but the happenings there were a little to strange for believable fiction. He wanted to be more adventurous, try something new that he had never attempted to do before. He pondered, studying his keyboard then thought of Madame Bovary written by Gustav Flaubert in the first person. He had been very impressed at how realistically Flaubert had written from a female perspective, maybe he should try it, could help him grow and develop diversity as a writer. Then he thought of writing from Blair's point of view, he chuckled, that was a scary thought. What about Serena?

He opened a Word document, wondering how he should attack such a complex subject because Serena was not an easy girl to understand and he knew her better than most. He had heard briefly of Blair's recent success in capturing her French prince from Eric's worldly mouth and imagined Serena was for once in her life feeling hard done by and most probably a little jealous. Blair might behave like royalty but Serena looked it, effortlessly, with her long fairytale blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Yet Blair was the one with the prince. No, too complicated, truthfully he wasn't brave enough to venture into such foreign territory.

His cell rang. Charlie. "Hey, you," he greeted, immediately regretting it, it sounded way too familiar.

"Hi," he could hear her smiling, "I just wanted to thank you for being so understanding about my gaffe earlier, and I really hope I didn't ruin your father's chances. He's been really nice to me, plus I wanted to say sorry again."

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Ancient history, "he chuckled, endeared by her worry and concern, "So how did your confrontation go with Vanessa? You never did tell me," he asked cautiously.

"Well, predictably she didn't admit it, I feel like such a fool," she bit her lip nervously, really wanting Dan to believe her and not defend Vanessa. Right now she was scrutinising Gossip Girl reading all the intelligence it had on Dan. He had a Cabbage Patch kid called Cedric?

Dan sighed on behalf of his former friend, he was fairly certain she was unable to redeem herself as far as he was concerned, "Don't be too hard on yourself; it seems she's quite the actress."

"Hmmm, you don't say. Still, I managed to have a really good time with you, I'm really glad we are friends, Dan," she awaited his response hopefully, imagining the cute way he wrestled with the slimy fresh fish.

"Yeah, me too and just to ease your concerns you didn't hinder my Dad in any way he got the producing job for Panic, so all is great," he held his finger down on the p button, the blank document irking him.

"Are you kidding? That's fantastic; your Dad must be so pleased. So, err what are you doing right now?" she fiddled with her gold necklace.

"I am actually trying to get my creative juices flowing."

Charlie laughed, "Is that some king of innuendo."

"Oh God, no, I mean, I meant," he stumbled over his words, "I meant that I'm trying to write but it's not really working."

"Oh, I've heard of that, I think it's called writer's block," she teased, "Do you have a specific story in mind, back home I had this terrific English teacher, she was really kind, and she always insisted that we need a plan first otherwise the end result is all disorderly. I think her exact words were: think of the story like a sandwich."

"I could do with a sandwich, I'm actually really hungry, and I'm craving chicken or turkey. Have you ever tried duck?" he questioned, changing the subject.

"No, but I've heard it's succulent," she replied, humouring him, "You know I wrote a poem once," she confided blushing, feeling vaguely like a stalker when a topless image of Dan appeared on screen, she quickly shut the window, cheeks aflame.

"Really? I am intrigued."

"Well, it wasn't very good and the rhymes were quite adventurous, I think if I submitted it, my poem would have been voted the worst love poem ever, it was for my crush and I dropped it on his desk on Valentine's Day, consequently spending the remainder of the years there avoiding him."

"That's sweet," he admitted reluctantly, feeling himself warm to her, "Do you remember it?"

The silence was telling, "Come on!" he prompted.

"Okay, fine, but don't laugh," she warned, "I can only remember the one verse, here goes," she took a deep breath, "I think of you in the morning/ on bright and sunny days/ the sun reminds me of your smile/ I am living in a haze/whenever I see you around/ my spirits always raise."

Dan wheezed, tiny tears of disbelief and hilarity trickling from the corners of his creased, laughing eyes, "That was . . . wow!" he injected copious amounts of encouragement in his comment, keeping in his bubbling laughter.

"I despise you, it's better than having a Cabbage Patch," she retorted defensively.

"Oh my God, if Jenny was here I would kill her myself, how did that one tiny, insignificant detail suddenly wind up defining my life."

"That's the way of the world, my friend," she said softening, "I had a freaky stuffed toy dog called Barry," she offered.

"Well, your poem wasn't that bad, how old were you?"

"About nine" she twisted the gold chain, tangling it around her fingers, "Somehow I think my attempts now wouldn't be much better, I'll leave the writing to you. Aunt Lily wants to watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off so I'll talk to you later?"

"Definitely."

He clicked off, putting the phone on the table and clearing the rows of p's on the otherwise clean document. Charlie, he typed, sandwich. He pondered for a second and then quickly typed everything he knew about her until he was left with over three thousand words. There wasn't a single thing he had discovered that he had disliked about her. . .

Yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Well, that didn't last long, he rubbed his hands together for warmth, his thick collar upturned to protect against the elements. It was dark and cool, intermittent gusts of wind washing over his face, ruffling his sable curls, the bench was damp beneath him and a tattered paperback copy of Flowers in the Attic sat on his lap, the breeze flipping the pages. He had first read this novel at Vanessa's insistence, "Dan, it's one of those books you just have to read," she needled plonking her copy on the marble table. So he had and truthfully he didn't quite know what to make of it, he thought the prose was not anything to rave about, but the plot was unlike anything he had ever heard of before. It took a brave writer to tackle a social taboo like incest, considered worse than Lolita by some. He had been impressed by Charlie's honesty and that she realised who his influences were, only a special, out of the ordinary girl would be able to perceive that.

The plan to take things slow had been working perfectly until this very moment. Normally having your beautiful, endearing, seemingly innocent girlfriend coerce you into having sex on the head teachers desk would be something to fantasise about and during the build up it exceeded his expectations. It was exciting and forbidden like all the best things were, shockingly he found himself wondering why he had never considered this in his high school years. There was something knowing in her glossy smile when she had pushed open the heavy oak door, she looked calm, collected, composed, confident. A lot like Serena, the fiasco with the "one of a kind" dress went completely over his head; he could infer that it looked particularly ravishing on Charlie. He smiled to himself, Jenny would have had his head for a comment like that, she lived, breathed and ate fashion, and used to idolise party princess Serena. Not noticing the exact make, shade, and cut of the dress she wore to the cotillion would go against the Humphrey code.

He hadn't expected it, even upon following her inside he had believed she was joking, teasing, but she whisked off her dress or Serena's dress in one smooth motion. Who cares about dresses when what she was wearing underneath was so much more alluring? She was so pretty like that, all traces of nervous disappeared into the ether, a gleam in her silvery blue wide eyes. It seemed pretty and crazy were not mutually exclusive here on the Upper East Side. First Serena, Blair, and even Vanessa, now Charlie. Why would she want to be called by Serena's name?

He didn't want to be judgmental but it gave the impression of vague psychological dysfunction and completely killed the mood. He liked Charlie and had no inkling of calling her by another girl's name. She had been a normal, goofy girl that he had enjoyed spending time with. He looked around, even in the pitch black people were still scurrying around either scantily clad or dressed up to the nines, eyes burning with purpose. That was the difference between Manhattan and Brooklyn, in Brooklyn the residents daily ambled about aimlessly, in Manhattan no one left the house unless there was a reason. His cell people, the caller ID flashing Charlie's name repeatedly. Not wanting to make her suspicious, or have any reason to feel more rejected than she did already, he sent a brief, ambiguous message that outlined how tired he was.

He fingered the cover of the book, the girl on the laminated indigo jacket resembled Charlie in a few ways. Blonde, more or less straight hair, wide eyes and cheekbones, Caucasian skin, even the same mouth, pouting and pink, top lip slightly jutting. Is that why she liked it? No, that didn't make sense she liked candy and that didn't resemble her at all. A tall, waiflike body sat down beside him. She had long blue-black hair and clutched an old fashioned cigarette holder, her thin, brown fingers clutching her layered black pearls in the other. Smudged navy blue eyeliner that matched her dress was smeared around her eyes, marring her delicate skin. Kati.

He didn't want to pry, even at school they had barely spoken two words to each other, all he knew was that she and Isobel, a dark-skinned, equally slender girl, managed to dress alike on most occasions and tended to spend most societal functions whispering in corners. She was quivering, goosebumps on her dainty, long arms, her pearly teeth rapaciously chewing her bottom pale lip. "Would you like my coat?" he ventured uncertainly.

"I don't wear off the rack it brings me out in a rash," she gave him a withering look which would have been a lot more potent if she didn't appear as if she had been crying.

"In that case I recede my kind and gentlemanly offer and will allow you to slowly freeze and eventually die from hypothermia. Very glamorous I'm sure." He retorted with a smirk, wondering again why he bothered.

She sniffled and then in an ungainly gesture swiped at her nose with the back of her hand, "Who said chivalry was dead?" she stared at her impossibly high, metallic heels, pursing her lips defiantly. "I don't know why I'm here," she whispered to herself more than Dan.

"What the company isn't doing it for you?" he grinned disarmingly making a grand gesture with his arms, seeing her despairing look he faltered. "This might sound like a stupid question," he sidled closer; until their arms were almost touching, "but why are you here?" he gazed at her intently. She hadn't been to bad at Constance, just another one of Blair's minions, always busy doing her dirty work, but still managing to get accepted into the most prestigious Ivy Leagues. However, from what he recalled she had never been deliberately mean of her own volition.

"I don't know, it sounds crazy but I miss high school," she tittered then folded her arms. "I hate college, Is and I hardly ever see each other, which is completely insane, why else did we go to the same school? . . . Do you ever feel that life is just passing you by?"

"No, the opposite actually, I feel like I've been waiting forever for things to relax so I can get a perspective on my life and where I want it to go, but there's always something or someone that stops me from pausing and taking stock," he sighed. He was always tired these days, highs were always followed by really low lows and nothing was ever what it seemed. Even Charlie. Especially Charlie.

Kati ran her manicured nails through her hair, fluffing up and adding volume without consulting a mirror, "You're not missing anything, and the more you think about things the more you freak out, it's better to just do . . . so you still with S?"

"No . . . no, that ship has long since sailed."

"Huh, that's funny," she stood, wiping obsessively at her dress as if the bench, as if Dan, was tainted.

"Why is it funny?" his brow creased with confusion.

"Well, she pretty much defined your entire high school career, I mean if you guys hadn't dated you would still be a nobody." She rubbed her lips together evenly distributing her recent application of burgundy lipstick.

"I am sorry to disappoint you but I'm still a nobody," he grinned showing he honestly didn't care but all he got in response was a snort.

"Whatever," she indicated a glossy black town car, "here's my ride. Bye Don."

"It's Dan. Dan!" he gave the retreating car the finger feeling rebellious and anti-social. What was he doing, sitting here doing nothing about his confusing life. He felt like he was having an identity crisis, but he wasn't in the mood to discover himself on a yoga retreat, he had no friends to talk this over with, his Dad was ruminating over Lily's imminent prison sentence and his little sister was in Hudson, hopefully keeping her nose clean. He would just have to sort his own life out for once. No Vanessa, no Serena, no Nate.

His cell phone screen lit up slowly uploading a picture message courtesy of the ever stirring Gossip Girl. He was about to shut it off and discard the irrelevant, meaningless picture proof she wanted to broadcast when he recognised his own smiling face, his jubilant, clean-shaven countenance directed at the girl in his arms. The girl he was evidently about to kiss, Serena. In a gold dress, the gold dress, her blonde waves in a stylish ponytail that looked elegant and playful. Underneath was another photo of a guileless Charlie in the same dress, a strained smile on her face so it was obviously taken after he had left her in Queller's office. The words printed above both were "Still want to play Lonely Boy? I wonder who will win in this frock-off, my money's on our resident golden girl, no one else can pull off custom-made couture like she can. I don't believe anybody has got the nerve to stand up to S, better luck next time C and maybe you should refresh your wardrobe, cast-offs are so last season."

He rolled his eyes; he didn't want anything to do with either of them. They were both a part of his past as far as he was concerned. Although, he didn't see Charlie illuminated by a street lamp furiously stabbing the delete button on her cell phone and tossing a renewed prescription for her medication in a waste bin. She smiled winningly at Dan, a determined shine in her clear eyes, she may have been losing but she was still in the game. Triumphantly she pulled out a bank statement, never feeling more important. "Dan!" she waved, her open coat gaping as she rushed to where he was. The shock and dread on his face didn't deter her.


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all WTF! How can I do After The Wrong Goodbye after that. Charlie isn't Charlie she's Ivy, Serena's off somewhere sunny writing or something and Dan's written his debut novel. Someone's pregnant! It's just not possible, so sorry guys. Anway, I'll tell you how I want it to go:**

**Blair and Luis get married but Blair + Dan = magic, so that's one extra marital affair.**

**Luis should fall in love with Nate, they can be gay and happy, adopt a few kids. You have to admit Nate is pretty boring.**

**Serena should be pregnant . . . Ben's the Dad. Serious fireworks. Don't you think she's boring now too, she's only fun when she's off her head or scheming. **

**Juliet should definitely come back, she was a wicked character, let's say she bumps into Vanessa in Spain, returns and ends up caught up in Chuck, who is rooming with Georgina after uncharacteristically taking pity on her. Can you imagine the one-liners?**

**The real Charlie could be Serena maybe they were swapped at birth. It has happened . . . at least on tele. **

**I'd like Lily to be pregnant if Serena isn't.**

**Jenny could come back, freak about Dan and Blair, try and sabotage their relationship by insinuating that Dan has feelings for Vanessa, Blair and Vanessa showdown.**

**Dan's book becomes a huge success and he has to come clean.**

**Definitely more Dorota. Love her!**


End file.
